Dear Santa,

If they exist, I need to look into acquiring a waterproof laptop. I'm spending between 30-60 minutes in the tub everyday. My Newsweek and Entertainment Weekly subscriptions aren't enough to supply all my bath reading material. When I've gone to a magazine stand, I must fight the urge to purchase the $6+ mags which I'll read in a day or two. There just aren't that many cheap mags that I have a desire to read.

(I'm paranoid about dropping things into the tub, so I can't justify the cost of bringing a book in with me.)

Now I'm trying to devise a way that I could use my laptop in the tub. I can't place it anywhere on the stool around the tub that is convenient for typing. Even reading requires that I occasionally lay a hand on the keyboard to scroll or navigate. I need to discover something I could just watch in the tub. But I don't want to find myself staying in the tub just to finish a movie or something.

See how a waterproof laptop in the tub would be pure heaven!?

(no subject)

I've been meaning to post the following list for a month or two now but didn't actually start typing it out until the ride to and from the midwife appointment this morning.

Things I Do that Probably Annoy People

1.I am a know-it-all. Although I try to muster up all my diplomatic skills when doing such, I'm going to correct factual errors when I hear/read them. There are friends that used to email me forwards. But after a few replies bursting their bubble on free Starbucks, conspiracy theories, or Photoshopped images, I no longer hear from them.

2.I like pressing bruises. When I see someone with a bruise, I automatically say “Aw, you got a bruise” and extend a finger to press on it. I'm not a sadist. I press all my bruises too and feel disappointed when I don't get a tinge of pain.

3.I tend to sigh audibly when disappointed.

4.I don't speed in residential areas. Going 27-30 MPH is the most you'll get me to go.

5.I do pay attention to details and when you add this trait with #1, my anal side is in full display.

6.Blame Pace. I can't hear someone say “New York City” without me wanting to reply in a shrill cowboy accent, “New York City?!”

7.When I get a bag of M&Ms, I pour them all out and sort them by color.

8.I am not a morning person at all and will tune anything and everything out in the morning until I decide I'm ready to deal with the day.

9.It was a trait I didn't like about my dad that I have slipped into and now appreciate – to the detriment and frustration of my loved ones. I can completely shut everything out. I automatically do this when reading. Someone could come up to me and I won't hear them. It's not that I hear them and ignore them. I shut off anything that isn't my focus and people have to work to gain my attention.

10.All my life, I've averaged a half-hour or more on the toilet each time I have a bowel movement. It was common growing up for the Newsweek to arrive and it promptly disappeared to a bathroom where one of the Berry boys was reading it and would nearly finish it before emerging from the bathroom.

11.I tend to get distracted on tangential tasks when I am on a deadline or should be focused on something else (“Oh, I just gotta do such and such before I or while I am or since I'm going to be going by...”).

12.If I don't like a movie or show, it takes great effort on my part not to ridicule and riff on the offending entertainment – even if someone I love is enjoying it.

13.Although I am a know-it-all, I'm not shy about asking questions (even potentially stupid ones) because I want to ensure that I am completely clear on information.