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Baby Skin
After Dick Layman left the morning show to return to his home state of Iowa, the morning show went through a period where we had to try out new newsfolks to replace Dick. Being the newsperson for our show wasn't an easy job. You had to be good at doing news, but you also had to have a good sense of humor and play along with us. Something I developed during this time were several radio plays. I would come up with the silliest story possible, cobble together a script, and at the last minute spring the radio play onto the newsperson. The goal was to see if the newsperson would actually read all their lines and complete the play. Not everyone could accomplish this.
The following script is from when the station finally hired a replacement, Dave Anthony (who is now doing Fox News Radio in NYC). Although he begged momentarily at one point for us to stop, he was a trooper and made it to the end of the script. Can you read the script and figure out the point that Dave stopped reading his lines for a minute and begged for mercy?
FYI - the players are Darrell (host), Dave (newsguy), Melanie (traffic), MikeyB (producer/board-op), RoadKill (me).
'Baby Skin' - A radio play by RoadKill
Darrell: Welcome to the show, Marc Antony.
Dave: Darrell, my name is Dave, Dave Anthony. It's not Marc Antony, not Anthony Edwards, nor Andy Partridge.
Darrell: Sorry, Doug.
Dave: Dave.
Darrell: Sorry, Dave. I guess I'm trying too hard to make you feel welcome. I want you to feel like you are returning to a group of old friends, Dan.
Dave: The name is Dave, not Dan, Darrell.
Darrell: Sorry about that. Like I was saying, I want it to seem as if we've known each other all of our lives.
Dave: Uh-huh.
Darrell: You are comfortable in that little booth of yours, aren't you? The stool is comfy and the temperature is okay, I hope.
Dave: It is a little cool, but I brought Terry with me.
Darrell: Who?
Dave: Terry. He is my blankie. I was nervous and thought it would help me. Terry has been my friend for a long time. I love my Terry.
Darrell: I LOVE THIS GUY! He's so funny!
Melanie: Darrell, have you seen him this morning?
Darrell: No. I didn't want to interrupt this fine journalist in his morning's duties.
Melanie: He's wearing footed pajamas, Darrell.
RoadKill: They're pretty neat; silver trim and one of those butt flaps.
Dave: Are you making fun of my Space Jammies? My mommy told me that you wouldn't make fun of them.
Darrell: So all morning you have been sitting in the newsroom wearing footed pajamas...
Dave: (interrupting) My Space Jammies, Darrell!
Darrell: Fine, fine. You are wearing your Space Jammies and carrying around your blankie.
MikeyB: You need to get it right, Darrell. His blankie's name is Terry.
Dave: Thank you, MikeyB.
Melanie: Boy, is he "sweet."
Darrell: Dave...Terry and your Space Jammies mean a lot to you, don't they?
Dave: Yes. My mommy used to tuck me in with Terry. The softness would comfort me in the dark. It was the same caress that I imagine I felt in the womb. No worries. There is a certain immersion into love that takes place in moments like when mommy used to tuck me in at night. My wife won't let me talk about it anymore. I don't know why.
Darrell: Now, why, if you don't mind me asking, do you wear the Space Jammies?
RoadKill: Good question, Montel Williams.
Melanie: Shhhhh!
Dave: I don't think you can understand the feelings that live inside me. I am an enigma. My mommy has always known that about me. When I wasn't feeling well, she would take me up in her arms. Oh, to feel her breath on my forehead as I snuggled was paradise.
Melanie: Oh, my.
Dave: Then...oh, I loved it when this happened...sometimes the butt flap in my jammies would pop open. Oh, we would laugh and laugh. Then she would take my temperature.
Darrell: Stay tuned to AnKarlo Mornings, we'll have Dave's mommy live on the air after this break!
Oh, how I wish I still had the audio for this bit. I'm amazed with how I could hear the play in my head as I was typing this.
The following script is from when the station finally hired a replacement, Dave Anthony (who is now doing Fox News Radio in NYC). Although he begged momentarily at one point for us to stop, he was a trooper and made it to the end of the script. Can you read the script and figure out the point that Dave stopped reading his lines for a minute and begged for mercy?
FYI - the players are Darrell (host), Dave (newsguy), Melanie (traffic), MikeyB (producer/board-op), RoadKill (me).
'Baby Skin' - A radio play by RoadKill
Darrell: Welcome to the show, Marc Antony.
Dave: Darrell, my name is Dave, Dave Anthony. It's not Marc Antony, not Anthony Edwards, nor Andy Partridge.
Darrell: Sorry, Doug.
Dave: Dave.
Darrell: Sorry, Dave. I guess I'm trying too hard to make you feel welcome. I want you to feel like you are returning to a group of old friends, Dan.
Dave: The name is Dave, not Dan, Darrell.
Darrell: Sorry about that. Like I was saying, I want it to seem as if we've known each other all of our lives.
Dave: Uh-huh.
Darrell: You are comfortable in that little booth of yours, aren't you? The stool is comfy and the temperature is okay, I hope.
Dave: It is a little cool, but I brought Terry with me.
Darrell: Who?
Dave: Terry. He is my blankie. I was nervous and thought it would help me. Terry has been my friend for a long time. I love my Terry.
Darrell: I LOVE THIS GUY! He's so funny!
Melanie: Darrell, have you seen him this morning?
Darrell: No. I didn't want to interrupt this fine journalist in his morning's duties.
Melanie: He's wearing footed pajamas, Darrell.
RoadKill: They're pretty neat; silver trim and one of those butt flaps.
Dave: Are you making fun of my Space Jammies? My mommy told me that you wouldn't make fun of them.
Darrell: So all morning you have been sitting in the newsroom wearing footed pajamas...
Dave: (interrupting) My Space Jammies, Darrell!
Darrell: Fine, fine. You are wearing your Space Jammies and carrying around your blankie.
MikeyB: You need to get it right, Darrell. His blankie's name is Terry.
Dave: Thank you, MikeyB.
Melanie: Boy, is he "sweet."
Darrell: Dave...Terry and your Space Jammies mean a lot to you, don't they?
Dave: Yes. My mommy used to tuck me in with Terry. The softness would comfort me in the dark. It was the same caress that I imagine I felt in the womb. No worries. There is a certain immersion into love that takes place in moments like when mommy used to tuck me in at night. My wife won't let me talk about it anymore. I don't know why.
Darrell: Now, why, if you don't mind me asking, do you wear the Space Jammies?
RoadKill: Good question, Montel Williams.
Melanie: Shhhhh!
Dave: I don't think you can understand the feelings that live inside me. I am an enigma. My mommy has always known that about me. When I wasn't feeling well, she would take me up in her arms. Oh, to feel her breath on my forehead as I snuggled was paradise.
Melanie: Oh, my.
Dave: Then...oh, I loved it when this happened...sometimes the butt flap in my jammies would pop open. Oh, we would laugh and laugh. Then she would take my temperature.
Darrell: Stay tuned to AnKarlo Mornings, we'll have Dave's mommy live on the air after this break!
Oh, how I wish I still had the audio for this bit. I'm amazed with how I could hear the play in my head as I was typing this.