439 - Nirvana - In Utero

I can't judge this album in isolation from Kurt Cobain and everything surrounding the making of this album. Sorry, I just can't. I haven't listened to this CD probably since a year after it came out (other than when the CD jukebox came upon it when doing a jukebox-wide shuffle play). My recollection was that the album was louder than Nevermind and intentionally not as catchy.

In Utero embodies conflict: internal (reflections on fatherhood, feelings about "success") and external (relationship with Courtney, how others treat him because of the band's success). There is a tension on the album that is expressed but doesn't seem to be released, despite what may have been hoped with the placement of "All Apologies" at the end. Every indication of what the album is supposed to mean seems to have an opposing indication in the album or statements made by Kurt and others to peers and the press.

Was this album an attempt to dump off the poser fans that hopped aboard the Nirvana bandwagon after Nevermind? Selecting Steve Albini to produce the album would assuredly create an album that would grate on the listeners. Steve is a man with a strong personality that eagerly makes it clear what music he thinks is genuine and what he thinks is pop fodder for the masses. The album's recording has Steve's engineering fingerprints all over it. The sound is raw, seemingly untouched by effects. There is no low end; no bass that bounces the listener along. But, in the end, Nirvana had Scott Litt remix their two singles. So, go raw for the album but still create singles to feed to the radio-listening masses? I can see, however, how Kurt would bow to the labels to remake the singles out of fear of them forcing him back into the studio to make a new album for them.

Was it a musical suicide note? While the imagery is definitely dark, re-listening to Nevermind and Bleach also shows dark tendencies (another trait of Kurt's often-cited fav band, The Pixies, and certainly Steve Albini's time in Big Black).

A couple of things that did stand out to me, though, during my listens the past couple of days:
1. While Kurt's vocals are never "pretty" when he screams, it usually is singing with the volume turned up to the point his voice distorts and crackles. But when you listen to "Milk It," his voice not only does that, but it sounds weak, feeble, and scared. While not my favorite song, his vocals during the track really hit me emotionally.

2. He's obviously confused about how to handle his celebrity. From the opening lines of "Serve the Servants," through "Rape Me," potentially "Milk It," "Pennyroyal Tea" (a play on "penny royalty?"), and "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" he makes constant lyrical reference to success and how something that others see as something to strive for causes him tremendous grief.

Songs I knew I liked: "Serve the Servants," "Heart Shaped Box," "Rape Me," "Dumb," "Pennyroyal Tea," and "All Apologies"

Songs I didn't know but now like: See what I said above about "Milk It"

Songs I can go the rest of my life without hearing again: "Very Ape" doesn't do much for me.