csberry: (normal completely different)
For the sake of load times and such, I've divided this in two and hiding behind a cut.

Close your eyes and make a wish! )
csberry: (normal completely different)
I altered the names of one of the folders on my server recently, so old links won't work any more. I'm putting the updated links here for future reference.

1. RoadKill Squeezes the Charmin - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-Charmin.mp3
2. RoadKill Pitches a Song on Music Row - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-MusicRow.mp3
3. RoadKill Gets Arrested - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-Airport.mp3
4. RoadKill Drives a Monster Truck - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-MTruck.mp3
5. RoadKill Rolls a Yard - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-RollsYard.mp3
6. RoadKill Hands Out Roses (Meets the Cashes) - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-Roses-Cash.mp3
7. RoadKill Searches For an Honest Person - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-Honesty.mp3
8. RoadKill Goes For the Full Monty - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-Monty.mp3
9. RoadKill Trapped in CMA Closet - http://people.ironicdesign.com/cberry/AnKarloMornings/Audio/RK-CMAcloset.mp3

My personal favorite is the Charmin one. There is definitely "theater of the mind" going on with RK Rolls a Yard (although I was at Dick's house and he was convinced I did the pranks) and CMA Closet. Otherwise, what you hear actually did happen.
csberry: (normal completely different)


I found this while watching Monty Python videos with Calvin tonight.
csberry: (bigmclargehuge)
Pastor Joe has formed the template for my prayers for the rest of the year.

Boogity-boogity-boogity Amen!
csberry: (normal completely different)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

I've said it before, I'll say it again. It would rock to have a miniature Prince that I could actually fit in my pocket and carry around with me.
csberry: (Default)
I was browsing the various translations available to the Bible app I downloaded onto my phone. I was very tickled to discover it had the Klingon Language Version of the World English Bible. As you will see from the following passage, it isn't perfect...but pretty funny nevertheless.

John 3:16
vaD joH'a' vaj love the qo', vetlh ghaH nobta' Daj wa' je neH puqloD, vetlh 'Iv HartaH Daq ghaH should ghobe' chIlqu' 'ach ghaj eternal yIn.
csberry: (Default)
Calvin and Nigel decided they needed to make a faux commercial for "Farting Goo." They talked JD into helping them out.

csberry: (green mammal)
As a youth, I would have responded to this entry with either Ray Steven's "Mississippi Squirrel Revival" or a "Weird Al" song. In high school and college, I would have put a They Might Be Giants song here. But, now, I instantly think of Belle & Sebastian's "Step into My Office, Baby." Both the song and video are quite witty, cheeky fun.

csberry: (say rack)
A political candidate came to the door a little while ago. I'm not feeling all that swift, so I'm in a t-shirt and jersey shorts this morning. It took only a couple of sentences for me to realize that he thought I'm a teenager.

Walker McGinnis: (introduced himself and shook my hand)

Nigel and Harper came to the door.

McGinnis: Are you staying home today? Get to be the babysitter?

Me: Um, yeah, I'm feeling a bit sick.

McGinnis: What grade are you at Grissom (High)?

Me: I'm 37.

McGinnis: Really? You don't look it.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't going to vote for him. After I revealed my age and that I graduated from Grissom in '91, he switched gears to handing off a copy of his flier and saying goodbye.
csberry: (boo-bees)
The #1 thing that I HATE about watching movies with Calvin is his constant need to know what is going on, what is about to happen, who everyone is, and other such questions every. minute. of. the. movie. Tonight, I found a way I could enjoy a movie and still be willing to answer every one of his questions. We watched the first 30 minutes of Airplane! on AMC tonight.

I took advantage of the 100 jokes a minute to talk over the jokes I didn't want to explain or have him hear to explain the jokes I felt were fine for him. We had so much fun. There wasn't really anything visual during that portion of the movie, so it was just a matter of what he heard. I've seen the movie a zillion times, so I wasn't really compelled to watch it without stopping and I was able to set up jokes that were about to happen while inappropriate jokes were being told.

Along with explaining the jokes, Calvin now knows about nuns, Hari Krishnas, how movie makers use soundtracks to tell you about moods, IVs, jive/slang, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, shell shock/PTSD, and Ethel Merman.

csberry: (Default)
I got lots of love for Huntsville's most famous celebrity right now - Antoine Dodson. Something I could always count on when screening calls for the radio show was that people will get passionate about what they would do if someone raped/injured/killed a family member. Antoine's original interview so well encapsulated that emotion. His and his sister's comments about the perpetrator's stupidity is classic!

Here is an update on Antoine since finding internet fame this past week:
csberry: (say rack)

I wonder if I can find a tiny little container of self-tanner to get rid of the two pale patches under my man boobs.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

csberry: (completely different cross-dressing)

When did Elton John and Drew Carey start looking alike?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

csberry: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

I'm wringing out a wet hippo.
csberry: (DonnaOMG)
The quiz at the end included this question:
"When asked by reporters whether or not she was scared when a snake came out of her car's air conditioning vent, a Texas woman said...blank."

Like Mo Rocca said, this answer could be anything. But the real answer is...

"Well, somebody crapped in my pants."

Baby Skin

May. 20th, 2010 09:28 pm
csberry: (Cory(squee))
After Dick Layman left the morning show to return to his home state of Iowa, the morning show went through a period where we had to try out new newsfolks to replace Dick. Being the newsperson for our show wasn't an easy job. You had to be good at doing news, but you also had to have a good sense of humor and play along with us. Something I developed during this time were several radio plays. I would come up with the silliest story possible, cobble together a script, and at the last minute spring the radio play onto the newsperson. The goal was to see if the newsperson would actually read all their lines and complete the play. Not everyone could accomplish this.

The following script is from when the station finally hired a replacement, Dave Anthony (who is now doing Fox News Radio in NYC). Although he begged momentarily at one point for us to stop, he was a trooper and made it to the end of the script. Can you read the script and figure out the point that Dave stopped reading his lines for a minute and begged for mercy?

FYI - the players are Darrell (host), Dave (newsguy), Melanie (traffic), MikeyB (producer/board-op), RoadKill (me).

'Baby Skin' - A radio play by RoadKill )

Oh, how I wish I still had the audio for this bit. I'm amazed with how I could hear the play in my head as I was typing this.

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Cory Berry

June 2016

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